Singleness for Sisters

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Hello sisters!
I pray you are doing well and giving glory to the Lord on this day He has given us.

 The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork. Psalm 19:1

 Amen, His glory will shine forever and let us never forget the gift that is set before us; the hope of eternal life for those who have through repentance turned their life to God and are born from above, with His Holy Spirit, and are now walking in the newness of life, all old things are past and we are new creations in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17).  Halelujah!

 Today I thought I would write some encouragement about being single. 



 Let's start off with realizing that the Lord calls us where we are (read 1 Corinthians 7)
17But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
18 Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
20 Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
21 Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
22 For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant.
23 Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

The whole book of 1 Corinthians 7 is talking to widows, virgins, divorced, married etc.  In those verses above we see that God called us where we are and of course He can change anything but at this time, each day we have, we are to live in the circumstance in which we are called.  He does give allowance in certain circumstances to marry but still encourages believers that it's good not to because then there are no distractions in serving the Lord unlike married couples who try to please each other. Marriage can be good, singleness can be good but in all of it we must make sure our focus is on the Lord and not on our flesh.  What I don't want to do is make a case for or against marriage or singleness, I simply want to point facts about the situations.

There are many single women who are praying and pleading with God to bring them a godly husband and she thinks her life will be complete.  Well, God's Word shows that with Him we are already complete:
And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power Colossians 2:10
Women have a way basing their self worth on the opinions of a  man.  They think that if they are loved and cherished by a man that their self worth must be great but if a woman has a husband that is less than godly then she feels she is to blame and her self worth goes down. And women without a husband feel they are worth nothing.  We are not to guage our worth from the opinions of man, in fact none of us are worth anything compared to God and what Christ has done, our worth is only as good as us giving ourselves to the Lord and His righteousness as seen by God through Christ for us.
Single women often spend a lot of time fantisizing what a perfect life in Christ would be like; married to a godly man, raising godly children, a nice little house and a ministry to proclaim the Word to the lost.  This is a nice thought but in reality we are all fallen human beings and although a husband and wife can serve the Lord, that sort of dream is only in books and movies, which both are no good to the born again believer for many reasons but for the sake of this article I will list one:
It raises expectations to an impossible level.
Realize this sisters, even godly husbands can be very hard to live with. (Godly wives can be hard to live with also...just adding that to be fair:-)  A wife will spend a lot of time ministering to her husband and what he is called to do and although this is a joyous calling it does take a lot of strength to keep the focus on Christ and not man.  Of course there are many benefits to being married but there are also benefits to being single as shown to us in verse 25 of 1 Corinthians 7.
And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
Be careful not to fantasize yourself into disappointment sisters and be content where the Lord has called you.
Also do you realize that husbands (and wives) can fall away?  What disappointment for a godly woman to think she has a godly husband and he falls away?
In fact we know of marriages where the spouse has left but they are still calling themselves a believer so it's hard to say what's going on in them BUT we do know the fruit of a believer is one that is obedient to the Word, loves others and forgives so in those cases they may very well be unbelievers. We don't know but either way, if you are in that situation sisters, you may want to rejoice that you have been set free from someone that would be causing you to stumble and may have pulled you away from the Lord.  There are times we are set free from things that we may not realize we need to be.
Marriage can be a blessing, singleness can be a blessing, it's what your outlook is on it and whether or not you are content in the sitation you are called.
As for our marriage and ministry, we've had brothers and sisters confess that they would love to do what we do and that's fine but they don't know all the details.  On the surface it looks romanticized: a married godly couple traveling around, Jim preaching and Deb being a helpmate to him.  Yes, that's awesome that the Lord (for some reason) counts us worthy to do so BUT that is not without sacrifice of the flesh and realization that we live in a fallen world and that even godly marriages have trying times doing what we do.
Every day I face the fact that brother Jim is hated by thousands of people.  We have a ministry that is spread world wide and many, many false teachers exposed there.  We see our Lord and Savior was killed as well as the apostles and many other saints before us....for speaking the truth of God.  We are warned that we will be hated (Matthew 10) and the average Christian  will suffer some minor persecution such as friends and family turning away, people laughing and mocking or losing a job etc.  But when you go into the world and stir up that trouble you encounter more darkness and danger than you do being in your home quietly serving the Lord, raising children etc. 
We each face daily trials....some of you sisters face loneliness, some married sisters face the troubles of a difficult husband, some sisters face the world of hatred; all on a daily basis.
For every sister who yearns for a husband there may be a sister who yearns to be set free from a bad situation in her marriage. The grass is not always greener on the other side.  It's funny, if you are from the countrside you know that cows will walk over the lush grass to shove their head through the barb wire fence in order to get at the grass just on the other side.  Let that not be us.
We must be careful that we don't overlook the blessings that are in our lives where we are called and not be lusting after what God has not given us.  He may have you single until you die.  He may have allowed a spouse to leave you that was not truly a believer and would cause you to stumble. He may have you married to a very difficult man (believer or not).  In each and every situation we must be content in the Lord and not be yearning after that which is not in our life.
Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. Philippians 4:11-12
We do see in the beginning that God made man and woman to leave and cleave, to multiply on the earth, yet we see apostle Paul saying it's good to not be married.  As we enter the end times there will be a great falling away and such trying times that we must be strong in whatever situation we are in.  Our strength comes from the Lord, not a spouse.
I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13
Instead of focusing on such things and wasting this precious time (redeem the time as the days are evil Ephesians 5:16) set your mind on things above (Colossians 3:2) and wait for our redemption:
And when these things begin to come to pass, then look up, and lift up your heads; for your redemption draweth nigh. Luke 21:28

Amen sisters.  Let us cleanse ourselves of any thoughts that are not becoming to the glory of God and rejoice for this day the Lord has given you.

Have a joyous evening,
Love in Christ,
Sister Deb

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