Man Made Traditions and Mindsets
Greetings sisters in Christ!
Today I want to talk about man made traditions and mindsets. We know there are many man made traditions in the unbiblical, worldly, denominational organizations, what I'm talking about are the ones we were trained to do in our every day life, that set boundaries that may unnecessarily trap us. Brother Jim and I have found a lot of them in our life after we began living in our van. It's opened our eyes to the American mindset that everyone in this country has grown to know. Some of these might stretch your mind and I'm not saying they are sinful, I'm simply bringing up ideas for you to examine in your own life. (I'm sure many of you in other countries can relate to some of these as well as find your own.)
* Eating 3 meals a day. It always seemed like a trap to me as a mother, trying to keep all the children from snacking so that they were hungry at meal time. Then you have to argue with them throughout the entire meal to eat even if they aren't hungry. Top that off with one child that isn't hungry at breakfast but 2 hours after everyone is done, they are famished. Another is hungry right before bed and one is hungry all the time. I don't have an answer to all that but I do know if I were to do it over again I wouldn't be stressing us all out like that anymore. Brother Jim and I snack throughout most days and I cook one meal.
* Eat your vegetables! I know, some of you are probably raising your eyebrows about this, especially coming from someone who LOVES veggies! There's a mindset that we have to try to eat of every different kind of vegetable and if we don't have a big variety of them, that we will be unhealthy. Now let's talk about trying to introduce all those different vegetables to our children, forcing them to eat and destroying every single meal time because they don't like spinach or beets. Again, you have to choose your ways in your home with your children but I hated the stress and struggle so I chose an assortment that they ate and called it good. Think about it, if we weren't able to get things shipped and had to rely on whatever a certain region could produce, we'd get along just fine like they did back in the biblical days.
* Don't use your fingers! How many of you grew up hearing those words when you tried to eat the last bit of food that won't get on the fork and you snuck a finger up to push it on? Why can't we just drink soup from a cup? Why can't we pick up our plate and push the rest of the food in our mouth? Why can't we just eat with our hands, there are many cultures who do. Who said we shouldn't use our fingers when we eat? Probably the same people who said you need to put the fork on the left side of your plate with the knife and spoon on the right (however that goes...) Or was it the person who thought it would be funny to say that you can't lean over your soup bowl and that you have to dip the spoon going away from you and such foolishness. (Apparently, some historians say that in the time of Jesus, people used bread like a spoon. Think about how that would be frowned upon in the culture today.)
* Get your elbows off the table! How many of you sisters grew up with that command? As a child I recall us children all being told to slide our chairs right up to the table. Like we were supposed to somehow eat with a table pressed against our chest with one hand underneath it in our lap and the other hand manipulating that big fork and chase around those peas that kept rolling off, all the while making sure you didn't break the manner command of no elbows on the table. (Seems to be that at the Lord's supper they were reclining...think about that.)
* Roll your spaghetti. I grew up eating a lot of cheap elbow noodles (you older sisters will smile about that) and rarely did we ever eat spaghetti because it was more expensive. When we did have spaghetti it was a nightmare because none of us children had a clue how to eat it. We were supposed to 'roll it'. That meant picking just the right amount of noodles to twist between the fork tines, put the ends of the tines on the plate then twist it. If you took too many noodles you ended up with a big gob that you got hollered at for trying to stuff in your mouth, all the while keeping the ends from swinging sauce on your shirt. I won't even mention what happened if we tried to suck in a noodle from one end to the other when we thought nobody was looking. The first time I ate spaghetti with brother Jim, he broke all the rules! He stabbed his fork into the pile of noodles, pulled it up to his mouth and took a big bite, letting the rest drop to his plate. Then he went over the top and sucked in the strangling strands. I watched with horror as he was eating, wondering if his mother had ever taught him and manners. He even had his elbows on the table! Meanwhile I sat there struggling trying to roll just the right amount of noodles on my fork and not let the ends hang....and I began to wonder who said you have to eat it that way? Jim's way looked a lot easier and way more fun! We had a good laugh over that one and he taught me how to break those unwritten, foolish rules.
* Chew your food. Have you heard the rule that you have to chew your food like 20 or 30 times until it's totally mashed up? That's something I used to hear all the time growing up because my brothers would chew a couple times and down it would go. (Usually because the first one done got whatever was left in the pan for seconds.) I, on the other hand, liked to chew so I never got hollered at but when I met brother Jim I saw he'd never heard of that rule :-) Guess what? I've never met a person who didn't chew their food into mush, that had a digestion problem. (Obviously we all have to make our own decisions on that area.)
* Clean your plate! Just a simple question....if we're not hungry why should we have to stuff the rest of the food in? Who made that rule? The same one that says you can't even use your fingers to clean it, if you wanted to? Yes, there are times we might take a bit more than we thought we wanted, what's wrong with saving it for later?
* Eat a balanced diet. While I agree with that statement, I disagree with the opinions surrounding it. Who determines what 'balanced' means? How many servings of fruits, vegetables, grains, meat and dairy should one have before they are considered unhealthy? I've seen children raised on pop tarts for breakfast, hot dogs for lunch and Mcdonalds for dinner. No I'm not advocating for those foods, my point is that those children continued to grow and mature, what about the child who has a few favorite healthy foods that they like? Who says they have to like a big variety of foods when a few good ones will do? (Let's look at the scriptures how Jesus fed the people fish and bread. Matthew 14) Today that would not be considered balanced per whoever made the rules in that pyramid above. I'm sure they didn't pass out eating utensils :-)
NOTE: I'm adding this so that you can understand the irony of these table manners. I grew up in an extremely poor family, often living in very unconventional ways yet we followed these specific man made traditions and mindsets. Who determined what 'manners' are and should be?
* Living in a house. In America if you don't have a house (or apartment etc) you are considered 'homeless', like it's a bad thing. In the bible many people lived in tents and travelers slept in ditches. God's Word says to be thankful for food and raiment (clothing) in 1 Timothy 6:8. Of course there are laws that are to be obeyed but there is freedom in this country to not be tied to a 'house'. As we travel the country sharing the gospel, we've come across some very unique living shelters.
* Bathing every day. Once again, everyone has to make up their own minds in this area but who said we need to bathe every single day, even if we don't need it? I grew up taking baths in a big cold, cast iron claw tub and we were allowed only a couple inches of water. There were times in my life growing up that we used to take baths in an old washtub after hand pumping the water and warming it on the woodstove. (Oftentimes we would take sponge baths instead.) Even when I grew up and left the house, many apartments didn't have showers. There's nothing wrong with washing only what needs to be washed.
* Don't bite your nails! I used to hear that ALL THE TIME and usually there was a hand flying at my fingers to yank them from my mouth because I was a nail biter. I often wondered why it was wrong because obviously God made teeth capable of cutting and tearing so what's the problem with it? Brother Jim never heard that rule either:-)
* Don't suck your thumb! I recall up to first grade I would fall asleep sucking my thumb. I don't know who wrote the rule of no thumb sucking but I used to wonder why it fit so well with the pad of the thumb fitting on the roof of the mouth. Rumor has it that thumb sucking will cause crooked teeth yet some of our children have perfectly straight teeth and were thumb suckers. It sure seems to me that God made a built in pacifier for a child but man wants to use plastic ones instead.
* Dental cleanings twice a year. We have chosen not to partake of the dental cleanings and instead do our own. I'm not here to make anyone feel bad about their decisions as we all are different and have different needs and thoughts. I recall faithfully getting my teeth cleaned every 6 months and after every single episode, my teeth hurt for weeks. They were sensitive and because the dentist pulled and yanked my fillings, I ended up having problems with them also. We practice good oral care without the cleanings and have not had a problem.
* Yearly health check up. If you want to go to the doctor and have the typical check up, or woman's check up, that's your choice. I personally question the validity of such things and in fact find that some of their processes do more harm than good. (That's my opinion and I don't want to make anyone feel bad about theirs.) I recall at one point years ago, as new babes in Christ, brother Jim was given a big money incentive at his work if we passed a health screening each year. It consisted of many different blood tests, body measurements etc. It stressed me out so bad for months before hand because I would be on the scale twice a day and compare my report from the year before to what I just received that finally I asked if I could opt out on it. He was glad to oblige because he didn't care for it either and you can't put a price on peace.
* Body mass and weight. Who determined how much a person should weigh, and what their body mass should be, based on their age and height? We see hundreds (sometimes thousands) of people walk by us every single day and there's no doubt that some are naturally thinner and some thicker than others. Yes it's clear to see that some people are extremely overweight but we're talking about the middle person, the average. Who created the weight chart and then by that, determines if you're healthy or not?
* Washing clothes. I grew up wearing clothing more than one day, unless they were filthy. As I grew older and left the house I somehow changed my habits and would only wear something one time, thereby increasing my clothes washing time, increasing my monthly costs and causing a lot of frustration when I fell behind. (I would also toss out clothes that had a stain, how wasteful.) We have chosen to not waste our time and money washing clothes that are not dirty and wear them until they are. (There are some groups like Amish and Mennonite that have traditions of when to wash their clothes, such as Monday, and if you don't have yours done that day, there's something wrong with your household.)
* Washing dishes. Yup, I'm going there... who said we have to have a sink full of hot soapy water to clean our dishes? We have gotten along well with water and wiping them while in the van and when we were on the homestead, cold water (for the most part) worked just fine. We also eat really simple so our dishes are not overloaded with hard to remove foods. Once again, this is something you all decide for yourself.
* Spring and fall cleaning. I have no clue who invented that tradition because it causes a lot of stress to people who really don't want to do it and feel guilty if they don't. Like you're dirty or something if you choose not to. If I'm content with my home being the way it is throughout the year, why do I care about a special cleaning 2 times a year?
* Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Where's that found in the bible? And who determines what level of cleanliness we should be attaining? No, I'm not against cleaning, I'm against the mindset that pushes people to do something according to someone else's mindset.
* Homeschooled children need to socialize. Says who? Satan started that one to make Christian parents feel bad for being obedient to the scriptures and protecting them from the world and bad influences. They are to 'socialize' with other believers, young and old, in the ways of the Lord.
So after all that, I hope you open your eyes to some of the things that you might have in your life that set unnecessary expectations which cause stress and trails. God's Word tells us to test or prove all things in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 and hold fast to that which is good. Some of these things could be 'good' and even though they could be good, they may cause situations that become bad....like I've shared. We all have liberty to choose how we live our life and as long as it's not sinful, we should not hold anything against someone who does it differently than us.
For instance: say a sister chooses not to sweep her floors every day, nor mow her lawn on a weekly basis, does this mean she is sloppy or messy? If so, by whose standards? Shall we judge a sister as lazy if she chooses to spend time with her many children instead of spending it on a spotless house? Just because we have been raised and taught certain mindsets and standards does not give us the right to hold them over others. We have freedom in Christ from our past sin (and sins we repent of), we can have freedom in this world from man made traditions and mindsets. Sadly there are man made religious organizations that teach many of these and while they are not sinful, they also have many sinful and false spiritual traditions of which they cling to that put you at enmity to God. Mark 7:6-9
I hope this has brought you some smiles and encouragement.
Have a joyous day.
Love in Christ to the saints worldwide.
Sister Deb
Today I want to talk about man made traditions and mindsets. We know there are many man made traditions in the unbiblical, worldly, denominational organizations, what I'm talking about are the ones we were trained to do in our every day life, that set boundaries that may unnecessarily trap us. Brother Jim and I have found a lot of them in our life after we began living in our van. It's opened our eyes to the American mindset that everyone in this country has grown to know. Some of these might stretch your mind and I'm not saying they are sinful, I'm simply bringing up ideas for you to examine in your own life. (I'm sure many of you in other countries can relate to some of these as well as find your own.)
* Eating 3 meals a day. It always seemed like a trap to me as a mother, trying to keep all the children from snacking so that they were hungry at meal time. Then you have to argue with them throughout the entire meal to eat even if they aren't hungry. Top that off with one child that isn't hungry at breakfast but 2 hours after everyone is done, they are famished. Another is hungry right before bed and one is hungry all the time. I don't have an answer to all that but I do know if I were to do it over again I wouldn't be stressing us all out like that anymore. Brother Jim and I snack throughout most days and I cook one meal.
* Eat your vegetables! I know, some of you are probably raising your eyebrows about this, especially coming from someone who LOVES veggies! There's a mindset that we have to try to eat of every different kind of vegetable and if we don't have a big variety of them, that we will be unhealthy. Now let's talk about trying to introduce all those different vegetables to our children, forcing them to eat and destroying every single meal time because they don't like spinach or beets. Again, you have to choose your ways in your home with your children but I hated the stress and struggle so I chose an assortment that they ate and called it good. Think about it, if we weren't able to get things shipped and had to rely on whatever a certain region could produce, we'd get along just fine like they did back in the biblical days.
* Don't use your fingers! How many of you grew up hearing those words when you tried to eat the last bit of food that won't get on the fork and you snuck a finger up to push it on? Why can't we just drink soup from a cup? Why can't we pick up our plate and push the rest of the food in our mouth? Why can't we just eat with our hands, there are many cultures who do. Who said we shouldn't use our fingers when we eat? Probably the same people who said you need to put the fork on the left side of your plate with the knife and spoon on the right (however that goes...) Or was it the person who thought it would be funny to say that you can't lean over your soup bowl and that you have to dip the spoon going away from you and such foolishness. (Apparently, some historians say that in the time of Jesus, people used bread like a spoon. Think about how that would be frowned upon in the culture today.)
* Get your elbows off the table! How many of you sisters grew up with that command? As a child I recall us children all being told to slide our chairs right up to the table. Like we were supposed to somehow eat with a table pressed against our chest with one hand underneath it in our lap and the other hand manipulating that big fork and chase around those peas that kept rolling off, all the while making sure you didn't break the manner command of no elbows on the table. (Seems to be that at the Lord's supper they were reclining...think about that.)
* Roll your spaghetti. I grew up eating a lot of cheap elbow noodles (you older sisters will smile about that) and rarely did we ever eat spaghetti because it was more expensive. When we did have spaghetti it was a nightmare because none of us children had a clue how to eat it. We were supposed to 'roll it'. That meant picking just the right amount of noodles to twist between the fork tines, put the ends of the tines on the plate then twist it. If you took too many noodles you ended up with a big gob that you got hollered at for trying to stuff in your mouth, all the while keeping the ends from swinging sauce on your shirt. I won't even mention what happened if we tried to suck in a noodle from one end to the other when we thought nobody was looking. The first time I ate spaghetti with brother Jim, he broke all the rules! He stabbed his fork into the pile of noodles, pulled it up to his mouth and took a big bite, letting the rest drop to his plate. Then he went over the top and sucked in the strangling strands. I watched with horror as he was eating, wondering if his mother had ever taught him and manners. He even had his elbows on the table! Meanwhile I sat there struggling trying to roll just the right amount of noodles on my fork and not let the ends hang....and I began to wonder who said you have to eat it that way? Jim's way looked a lot easier and way more fun! We had a good laugh over that one and he taught me how to break those unwritten, foolish rules.
* Chew your food. Have you heard the rule that you have to chew your food like 20 or 30 times until it's totally mashed up? That's something I used to hear all the time growing up because my brothers would chew a couple times and down it would go. (Usually because the first one done got whatever was left in the pan for seconds.) I, on the other hand, liked to chew so I never got hollered at but when I met brother Jim I saw he'd never heard of that rule :-) Guess what? I've never met a person who didn't chew their food into mush, that had a digestion problem. (Obviously we all have to make our own decisions on that area.)
* Clean your plate! Just a simple question....if we're not hungry why should we have to stuff the rest of the food in? Who made that rule? The same one that says you can't even use your fingers to clean it, if you wanted to? Yes, there are times we might take a bit more than we thought we wanted, what's wrong with saving it for later?
* Eat a balanced diet. While I agree with that statement, I disagree with the opinions surrounding it. Who determines what 'balanced' means? How many servings of fruits, vegetables, grains, meat and dairy should one have before they are considered unhealthy? I've seen children raised on pop tarts for breakfast, hot dogs for lunch and Mcdonalds for dinner. No I'm not advocating for those foods, my point is that those children continued to grow and mature, what about the child who has a few favorite healthy foods that they like? Who says they have to like a big variety of foods when a few good ones will do? (Let's look at the scriptures how Jesus fed the people fish and bread. Matthew 14) Today that would not be considered balanced per whoever made the rules in that pyramid above. I'm sure they didn't pass out eating utensils :-)
NOTE: I'm adding this so that you can understand the irony of these table manners. I grew up in an extremely poor family, often living in very unconventional ways yet we followed these specific man made traditions and mindsets. Who determined what 'manners' are and should be?
* Living in a house. In America if you don't have a house (or apartment etc) you are considered 'homeless', like it's a bad thing. In the bible many people lived in tents and travelers slept in ditches. God's Word says to be thankful for food and raiment (clothing) in 1 Timothy 6:8. Of course there are laws that are to be obeyed but there is freedom in this country to not be tied to a 'house'. As we travel the country sharing the gospel, we've come across some very unique living shelters.
* Bathing every day. Once again, everyone has to make up their own minds in this area but who said we need to bathe every single day, even if we don't need it? I grew up taking baths in a big cold, cast iron claw tub and we were allowed only a couple inches of water. There were times in my life growing up that we used to take baths in an old washtub after hand pumping the water and warming it on the woodstove. (Oftentimes we would take sponge baths instead.) Even when I grew up and left the house, many apartments didn't have showers. There's nothing wrong with washing only what needs to be washed.
* Don't bite your nails! I used to hear that ALL THE TIME and usually there was a hand flying at my fingers to yank them from my mouth because I was a nail biter. I often wondered why it was wrong because obviously God made teeth capable of cutting and tearing so what's the problem with it? Brother Jim never heard that rule either:-)
* Don't suck your thumb! I recall up to first grade I would fall asleep sucking my thumb. I don't know who wrote the rule of no thumb sucking but I used to wonder why it fit so well with the pad of the thumb fitting on the roof of the mouth. Rumor has it that thumb sucking will cause crooked teeth yet some of our children have perfectly straight teeth and were thumb suckers. It sure seems to me that God made a built in pacifier for a child but man wants to use plastic ones instead.
* Dental cleanings twice a year. We have chosen not to partake of the dental cleanings and instead do our own. I'm not here to make anyone feel bad about their decisions as we all are different and have different needs and thoughts. I recall faithfully getting my teeth cleaned every 6 months and after every single episode, my teeth hurt for weeks. They were sensitive and because the dentist pulled and yanked my fillings, I ended up having problems with them also. We practice good oral care without the cleanings and have not had a problem.
* Yearly health check up. If you want to go to the doctor and have the typical check up, or woman's check up, that's your choice. I personally question the validity of such things and in fact find that some of their processes do more harm than good. (That's my opinion and I don't want to make anyone feel bad about theirs.) I recall at one point years ago, as new babes in Christ, brother Jim was given a big money incentive at his work if we passed a health screening each year. It consisted of many different blood tests, body measurements etc. It stressed me out so bad for months before hand because I would be on the scale twice a day and compare my report from the year before to what I just received that finally I asked if I could opt out on it. He was glad to oblige because he didn't care for it either and you can't put a price on peace.
* Body mass and weight. Who determined how much a person should weigh, and what their body mass should be, based on their age and height? We see hundreds (sometimes thousands) of people walk by us every single day and there's no doubt that some are naturally thinner and some thicker than others. Yes it's clear to see that some people are extremely overweight but we're talking about the middle person, the average. Who created the weight chart and then by that, determines if you're healthy or not?
* Washing clothes. I grew up wearing clothing more than one day, unless they were filthy. As I grew older and left the house I somehow changed my habits and would only wear something one time, thereby increasing my clothes washing time, increasing my monthly costs and causing a lot of frustration when I fell behind. (I would also toss out clothes that had a stain, how wasteful.) We have chosen to not waste our time and money washing clothes that are not dirty and wear them until they are. (There are some groups like Amish and Mennonite that have traditions of when to wash their clothes, such as Monday, and if you don't have yours done that day, there's something wrong with your household.)
* Washing dishes. Yup, I'm going there... who said we have to have a sink full of hot soapy water to clean our dishes? We have gotten along well with water and wiping them while in the van and when we were on the homestead, cold water (for the most part) worked just fine. We also eat really simple so our dishes are not overloaded with hard to remove foods. Once again, this is something you all decide for yourself.
* Spring and fall cleaning. I have no clue who invented that tradition because it causes a lot of stress to people who really don't want to do it and feel guilty if they don't. Like you're dirty or something if you choose not to. If I'm content with my home being the way it is throughout the year, why do I care about a special cleaning 2 times a year?
* Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Where's that found in the bible? And who determines what level of cleanliness we should be attaining? No, I'm not against cleaning, I'm against the mindset that pushes people to do something according to someone else's mindset.
* Homeschooled children need to socialize. Says who? Satan started that one to make Christian parents feel bad for being obedient to the scriptures and protecting them from the world and bad influences. They are to 'socialize' with other believers, young and old, in the ways of the Lord.
So after all that, I hope you open your eyes to some of the things that you might have in your life that set unnecessary expectations which cause stress and trails. God's Word tells us to test or prove all things in 1 Thessalonians 5:21 and hold fast to that which is good. Some of these things could be 'good' and even though they could be good, they may cause situations that become bad....like I've shared. We all have liberty to choose how we live our life and as long as it's not sinful, we should not hold anything against someone who does it differently than us.
For instance: say a sister chooses not to sweep her floors every day, nor mow her lawn on a weekly basis, does this mean she is sloppy or messy? If so, by whose standards? Shall we judge a sister as lazy if she chooses to spend time with her many children instead of spending it on a spotless house? Just because we have been raised and taught certain mindsets and standards does not give us the right to hold them over others. We have freedom in Christ from our past sin (and sins we repent of), we can have freedom in this world from man made traditions and mindsets. Sadly there are man made religious organizations that teach many of these and while they are not sinful, they also have many sinful and false spiritual traditions of which they cling to that put you at enmity to God. Mark 7:6-9
I hope this has brought you some smiles and encouragement.
Have a joyous day.
Love in Christ to the saints worldwide.
Sister Deb
The biblical gospel...