Help for Those Married to Unbelievers
Greetings sisters in Christ!
This is just a quick post to combine some links that may be helpful to those of you who are married to unbelievers and therefore wrestling with how to deal with it. I would encourage you to first go to the gospel link below and see if that is the gospel by which you understand and obey.
https://www.dontperish.com/the-gospel.html
If so then we can move on to help you in the area of being yoked to an unbeliever.
Many people see 2 Corinthians 6:14 not to be yoked to an unbeliever and think they are to leave their unbelieving husband...
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
That's not saying to leave your unbelieving husband because we have to balance that with 1 Corinthians 7
1 Corinthians 7:12-24
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. [13] And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. [14] For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. [15] But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases : but God hath called us to peace. [16] For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? [17] But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. [18] Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised. [19] Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. [20] Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. [21] Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. [22] For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ's servant. [23] Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. [24] Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
If you are married to an unbeliever when you repent and are made a new creation, you are to stay in that marriage (where you were called as it states in the verses above) if he be pleased to dwell with you. That doesn't mean he will be pleased with the changes you make in your life in becoming a godly women, it means that he doesn't want to leave you. Be warned, as you walk obediently there may come a time when he's not pleased and may leave.
Matthew 19:29
And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.
What we encourage women to do in such situations is strive to become obedient in the Lord, in all areas pertaining to godly women (submission, leaving feminism, headcovering, dressing biblically, cultivating a meek and quiet spirit, loving him, being his helper etc) and then lead a quiet, obedient life unto the Lord. This will naturally cause some areas of separation between you and your husband as you are to be submission to him in all things except sin (which you must not partake of), yet in all other things you are to be his helper.
1 Peter 3:1-6
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; [2] While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. [3] Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [4] But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. [5] For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: [6] Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Doing what 1 Peter 3 commands, winning without a word and having a meek and quiet spirit, is truly a flesh killing experience, but commanded none the less. You have to make sure your focus is on the Lord, in obedience to Him and not a focus of trying to please your husband because you want him to love you. This will cause you much turmoil if you have the wrong focus and will cause you to compromise and most likely fall back as we've seen time and time again over the many years.
All Christian women need to learn that balance of living two lives: living our life for the Lord and then dealing with those in our lives who don't. We all have to learn how to how to do that in our lives, of course all situations are different but the key is, staying true to the Word and walking in obedience...this will give us strength and protection as we do it.
Here are some links to help women who are dealing with unbelieving husbands and please let us know if you have questions that are not covered here and I (or brother Jim) would be happy to write on it to encourage all saints everywhere.
First I would encourage women to look at this link below which contains many links within it to help teach you what God's Word says for obedience in godly women.
https://titus24sisters.blogspot.com/2020/11/women-start-here-for-new-believers.html
Here is another link with posts to encourage those who are married to unbelievers or disobedient spouses. When you click on it, it will have all the posts lined up under it, just keep paging down and over time there may be more added.
https://titus24sisters.blogspot.com/search/label/Married%20to%20an%20Unbeliever
I hope this helps you and again, let us know if there are areas you would like more info on.
I pray you all strive on in truth and holiness.
We love you all,
Sister Deb