When to Speak and When to Be Quiet
Good day sister saints:-)
We woke up to snow today!
So I was in the store quite a while ago and took this picture of a book (that I have no clue what it's about but I wanted the front picture to make a point here).
Yes, it's a bold and blunt point but one that some of us need. I'll be the first to admit that would be me at times. I thought today I'd talk about how us women should learn to appreciate silence and therefore avoid many pitfalls in our relationships, especially in marriages. God's Word talks much about watching our words, our tongue and that women are to have a quiet nature. Let's go over some of them, let them sink in and for those of us who need reminders, pray that we do better going forward.
Let's start out with the fact that women are to have a quiet spirit.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. (1 Peter 3:1-6)
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. (1 Timothy 2:9-15)
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. (1 Corinthians 14:34-35)
This is a stark contrast to men who are to be the leaders, preachers, teachers, protectors etc. Of course this does not mean a woman cannot speak, she certainly can but she must learn her role on when to speak and when not to. This requires thinking before speaking; examining what is going to be said to see if it should be or if it's best not to. What will be the outcome or the ramifications of her words? Will they edify and help someone or will they oppose and antagonize a situation that does not need her input. These are all things that we need to examine within ourselves and of course I cannot go into every single example here because there are an endless amount of them but through the guidance of the Holy Spirit and God's Word, we can train ourselves to learn these things. We can also help one another through daily edification, accountability and confession etc.
Let's look at what God's Word says about keeping watch over our tongue and the words that come forth.
Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. (Proverbs 21:23)
This is great wisdom to start out with and let it sink deep in us how important it is to carefully select our words.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. (Proverbs 18:21)
That goes along with this:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. (Galatians 6:7-8)
Our tongue can sow much discord and trials if we are not carefully watching over it.
Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? (James 3:5-11)
I would venture to say that most of us godly women are striving for a quiet nature (if you're not please repent and search your heart) and don't willingly say things to cause problems but we still end up in such situations, especially with husbands. There are verses that talk about a brawling and angry wife, and I'm not listing them because I'm referring to the women who have killed that part and want peace in their homes but just have not learned how to be more silent when they should. I will include this one though.
A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. (Proverbs 27:1)
What does that mean? Well, that could be something that you've mentioned to your husband and because you don't think he heard you, understood or is not doing it, you keep bringing it up. We have to learn to say something (if appropriate) then let it go unless he brings it up again and wants to discuss your viewpoint. Yes, that seems very one sided in a relationship and it is...why? Because God set the order of man being in authority.
For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. [9] Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. (1 Corinthians 11:8-9)
And here:
Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. (1 Timothy 2:11-14)
And here we see how valuable words are
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (Ephesians 5:22-23)
And I could go on but you can do your research on submission, obedience, the headship of man over woman in all the other verses. Yes, it's a flesh killer especially when a husband and wife have come from the world and have reversed that order.
So to open this back up to both married and unmarried women, we all have to learn when to say something and when to not. I would offer that each of us examine our every day lives and see what we normally have going on in our conversations (with whomever that might be on a regular basis). Once we establish who we have normal conversations with, we then examine our relationship in them (yes, this can mean relationships with both men and women) and see if our words and conversations fit in with God's Word. If we start there, we will accomplish much that will spread into other areas of our lives.
This screen captures of various scriptures will help us guide our mouths which is an extension of our hearts (remember that).
